Sharing our stories is a powerful tool to uplift and inspire others.
In this spirit I would like to share a story that deeply shaped my world and empowered me in an unexpected way.
A good couple of years ago I was called upon a profound spiritual healing journey that started with a Shipibo shaman deep in the heart of Peruvian jungle of the Amazonas, close to the border of Colombia and Brazil. I embarked on this journey for my personal healing and also to learn new tools and use them in my own healing practice.
As a result of this experience I went through a heavy and dark time what you could call the dark night of the soul. I found myself in Mexico, with no money, no job, not speaking spanish and no friends or any kind of support. Literally I felt that somebody pulled the carpet out from under my feet and my life fell apart in every possible way you can imagine.
I was in state of complete shock as waves of terror and fear washed over and over me. I felt so scared, confused and without direction that I couldn’t even think straight in that moment.
I was crying without stopping and was not able to stop my mind circling around the one simple question: what am I going to do now? And my answer always was: I have no idea what to do.
dark night of the soul
I still remember clearly being in this empty house, alone, literally on my knees, bawling my eyes out, being scared out of my mind. I was in a complete despair.
Then suddenly I was seeing myself from the outside, from above, you know the kind of way when you zoom out of a picture. And I saw myself crying in that house, locked in fear and I saw from above people walking on the street completely oblivious of my suffering even though they were only a few feet away.
And suddenly a realization hit me really hard: nobody cares.
I mean I was aware that of course a lot of people care about me in general, but in that moment I understood that in a way we are all alone. In that moment nobody was aware of how I am feeling and what was happening inside of me and in that sense I was truly alone.
All of a sudden I understood with a hundred percent clarity that it is up to me, only ME what I will do with this situation. All possibilities were there for me starting from giving up upon myself and my life to transforming this challenge to a gift and a new beginning.
In that moment, first time in my life, I took full responsibility for myself and my life.
Please understand that this happened in a matter of a few moments and suddenly I was back in the empty house on my knees, my cheeks still wet from the tears. But I was strangely calm. A deep knowing has awakened within me, and though I still didn’t know what my next step is gonna be and how I am gonna turn this around, but I knew one thing for sure, without a doubt.
I can and I will rise from here like a phoenix from the ashes and I refuse to give up on myself and my life. A deep sense of trust arose from somewhere within me and I knew that everything is gonna be alright taking only one step at a time.
This moment was the beginning of my new life.
Today reflecting back of this memory I only feel overwhelming gratitude to have had this experience that empowered me so much and brought me so many unseen gifts.
As a result of this experience I created a new life, that is more aligned with who I am today, a new life that most people only wish for in their dreams.
This experience helped me to become a more loving and compassionate person especially towards other people’s suffering, and to guide others through difficult transitions as a healer and spiritual teacher. This experience helped me to rebuild my trust in myself and the world and to see challenges as opportunities to grow and to expand tour capacity to embody more love and light.
I believe that all big changes start with one individual who transforms oneself.
My dream is to inspire and support you on your journey back to wholeness as your journey will inspire others yet to come.
We are all One.
If you are experiencing a difficult time in your life and you are in need of support please visit my website and don’t hesitate to ask for personal support.