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WHY, WHY, WHY….?
Why are we longing for a loving relationship so much?
Why do we feel discontent and incomplete without another person?
Why are we always looking for love outside of ourselves?
Why there are so many failed relationships?
All we need is love
Everybody wants to be loved, accepted, be content and feel happy. I think we can all agree on that.
If you google “how to find love” on the internet you find:
About 1,780,000,000 results (0.39 seconds) that will give you ‘good’ advice on how to find love. Most of them will tell you exactly what’s wrong with you and how to fix it.
And if you search the internet you will find that there is a never ending discussion and advice on how to improve yourself so you have a bigger chance to find love.
How come so many of us are still struggling to find love?
So many of us are concerned about things such as portraying confidence or increasing your physical attractiveness to find love and be happy forever. But what if we are looking for love in all the wrong places?
Love yourself first
Let’s look at an entirely different approach that is more than 2,500 year old. Buddhist say that love starts with loving ourselves first.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha
An important core teaching in Buddhism is self-love. Buddha teaches that you love the self before extending the love to others. In other words, before you are able to be a love luminary, you must have the capacity to embrace yourself fully.
The search is not external but internal. You first find it from within. To love the self is to be in continuous connection with your true essence. You learn to accept, appreciate and affirm who you are. You start to embrace all parts of yourself, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. From self love, you lay the groundwork for the expression of compassion for others.
Love yourself
How to love yourself?
Buddhist teachings recommend to spend time focusing inward daily (meditate, journal) and stop numbing your feelings as a daily practice.
- Breathe, relax and allow yourself to feel, embrace all your feelings
- Reflect on your thoughts and beliefs about love and see if they still are true for you
- Be patient with yourself and focus on what you appreciate about yourself
- Practice self love and self care, treat yourself as you would like others to treat you
- Have an attitude of gratitude!
It all starts in your mind
In my practice as a healer I often find that the biggest obstacle to find love is in the mind.
Most people hold unconscious beliefs such as:
“I am not worthy of love, I am not lovable, I don’t deserve to be loved, love is not safe”
We live in a universe based on the law of attraction. This means that what you give out you get back. In other words if you have a negative self talk the universe will mirror that back to you. If you believe that you are not lovable then guess what, this will be your experience.
To overcome this obstacle we need to become aware of our negative self talk and unconscious beliefs and shift them into alignment with our true desires.
“I am worthy of love no matter what. Everybody deserves to be loved, myself included, it is safe to me to open to love, I am dearly loved.”
It is my experience that the only reason why we are not experiencing enough love in our lives is because somewhere deep within we don’t believe we can have it. It takes some conscious healing work to clear our mind from these limiting beliefs about love.
And the result? Find out for yourself!
I love myself
Where to start?
I invite you to open your mind and ask yourself
“What is my approach to Love? And how is that working out for me?
Am I ready to try something different? What do I have to loose?
In La’kesh Ala K’in – You are another me
with Love
