Why is growth so painful?

When I embarked on a path of healing and self discovery it was my hope and expectation to feel better and avoid further suffering.

Little did I know that awakening is a destructive process. It’s a kind of death and rebirth.

It’s like a seed breaking its shell to grow and release its potential. And the shells need to break apart and die in this process. It’s a necessary and voluntary letting go.

First I needed to let go and empty the pain I carried to begin to start to feel good. So yes it gets worse before it gets better.

Growth is painful because of our conditioning

Our suffering originates from the false belief that there is something wrong with pain and it shouldn’t be felt. It is our instinctual nature to avoid pain. In society we perfected to mask our pain and learnt to pretend that everything is all right and we are in perfect control.

We deny reality. We refuse pain and death as natural part of life. We clung desperately to the fantasy of a happily ever after. So we suppress. Try to repress all our pain. Bottle it up. Lock it down. Separate it from ourselves. Shut down all feeling. Refuse to feel. Do anything to escape.


Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

But after all our escapades the pain is still there. There is nowhere to run. And now we are also numb. There is no feeling. The heart is shut down. It has no voice. The is no pain. But there is no pleasure also. We lost our ability to feel. We closed down our heart. There is no joy.

In a way numbness is worse than pain. But we want to connect, belong and feel, so we start to open again. Reclaiming our right to feel.

And as the numbness goes away, we start to feel the pain. Behind the numbness we are in pain. You see the pain was there, waiting patiently to express. To complete.

Feeling is healing

Growth is an expansion, an opening. When we start to open our heart and use our ability to feel, the first that will come to the surface is all that suppressed pain, stuck there from the past, encoded in the memories of the physical body. Growth is facing reality.Acceptance.

The pain is already there. It was done, the damage. The only thing left is to heal, to repair.

Feeling is healing. By feeling we are opening and emptying from the depth of our being.

So allow yourself to feel. It is ok to feel the pain.

Once you accept that the pain is there and you do not resist it, it can be felt and expressed and released.. You return to balance and peace.. Give it a try. See how it feels.

Suffering comes from resisting the pain

When we resist the pain we push against it, we hold it there and everything is stuck without completion. Resistance of what is causes suffering. The only option is to let go or be dragged. What you resist, persists.

Growth is painful because we avoided a thousand pains. We were thought that pain is bad and has to be hidden, unexpressed.

Let go of limiting beliefs – update your mind

Drop into your pain. Just be there with it. Sit with it. And if you are still and present you will become aware of the belief that is behind it.

Why do you suffer? What do you believe that makes you feel this way? Express all your thoughts. Write them down on a paper. Give yourself over to this experience. Whose voice is in your head? Be quiet, listen.

Personal Purification

Growth is a purification process it allows you to clear out your mindset and change your beliefs according to your current understanding. Think about it as a software update for your mind.

Once you dive deep enough within, you will find the gift of awareness and the transformation that you were seeking and asking for. It is all very simple.

Reclaim your right to feel

Through the experience of pain love is possible and compassion arises. All the peaceful warriors experienced a great deal of pain (Ghandi, Martin Luther King)

and they rose above it.

We are emotional beings. All our emotions are valid and need to be expressed.

The way to transform a feeling is simply by feeling it and expressing it.

Everything changes. This too shall pass.

Transformation comes through experience. Slowly you begin to relax.

Allow the experience to be an experience. When you are relaxed, you are open, you are in the flow, you are at ease because you know that this will change, it is just an experience.

The gift of Love

Growth is expansion of conscious awareness and a natural heart opening process.

Growing pains simply mean that you are ready to expand into a fuller expression of yourself.

Old beliefs and habits can hold you back. Pain points you into a direction where you still hold resistance and limitation. It’s your responsibility to transform your beliefs.

When you let go of your ideas that are not true you become more open hearted and loving and this is the goal if you like. To experience more love in your life.

relax, tune in
relax, tune in

Growth is the gift of love

Growth is happening for you not against you. Helping you to remember and embody who you truly are.

You are a divine creator being. Your essence is love. Love and accept yourself.

l love you.


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Heart Medicine