)
Love Letters to Self pt7
Have you ever been so triggered that you totally lost control and you did something that you deeply regretted later? We all have been there. Almost like being possessed. Loosing all logic, clarity, reason, and often your temper.
Are you being triggered?
Being triggered means that somebody or something touches a very sensitive spot in you that activates dormant trauma, in other words a past demon, that was waiting patiently in your unconscious.
I remember once I went to surprise a friend with a visit and a freshly baked cake. I turned up and walked through his garden. I started calling his name as I looked though the window. He finally came out, super upset that I came without calling first. Later, it turned out that once the cops showed up at his house breaking down his door, that’s why he was so sensitive about people showing up uninvited at his door.
Any simple, seemingly meaningless event can trigger a past demon, a past wound, unhealed trauma, depending on individual makeup. When you are triggered, you get mentally and emotionally overwhelmed. Most people automatically react from this space, usually projecting their story and blaming others for their discomfort. Often this leads to further conflict and only adds to the pain and sorrow.
Most common demons
I believe we can all agree that the biggest demon is fear, the fear of death to be exact. But what we are really afraid of, is the loss of love, connection and freedom. The fear of death manifests in many shapes and forms. For example there is the fear of abandonment, fear of failure, rejection. Feelings of insecurity and doubts happily feed on this fear. Also the need to control, demand and manipulate rooted in fear. Projection, blame, judgement, violence and seeking revenge is the same demon with a different head.
Sad but true. We became victims and slaves, living in bondage to our past wounds and pain while serving the demon of fear. False evidence appearing to be real.
How do you feel about this? Do you want to be free?. Do you want to live without fear?
How to kill a demon
Once you become aware of your demons, you can slay them, disarm and dissolve them. You can become free, from the bondage of fear. Here are some simple steps that will assist you to transmute and heal this fear and pain.
1. Withdraw
When you are triggered, instead of taking it personally, lashing out and blaming others, please do yourself a favor and remove yourself from the trigger, person, situation. Remember, not to react when you are triggered!
2. Express
Once you are in a safe place, preferably alone, simply surrender. Accept and embrace all your feelings and thoughts, don’t resist, or push against them. Then ask yourself what you need to do to move these energies and express them? Use your tools like movement, sound, mediation and prayer to allow and facilitate this release and purification.
3. Take back your power
When the height of the intensity is passed, you slowly start feeling relieved, but still exhausted and without power. Like being after a long battle. Finally, peace arrives and ends the internal war. You feel your power returning as trust, confidence and clear vision.
I know this sounds quite simple. But we all know how hard it is, not to react and lash out, when our demons are pushing and pulling us apart. We are all familiar with the obsession, paranoia and exaggeration of the mind. We know the emotional anguish and feel our instinctual nature who wants to escape from the pain.
Be Free
As you stand in this fire of initiation of incredible intensity, you are slaying your demon. Being in the discomfort and choosing consciously to respond instead of reacting, no matter how hard you are tempted and pulled, is mastery, alchemy and transmutation. The gift of this heroic effort is simply freedom, liberation from your own fears, wounds, and demons. Connecting with clarity, compassion, confidence and power. If you can do this, you can do whatever you desire.
It is your responsibility to create peace and stop your internal war. A you bring peace to our inner world and deal with your demons we are creating the peace in the world we are looking for. Peace on Earth. It is available. It all starts within you.
Thank you for being a warrior.
Aho.
