The Pursuit of happy ending
As I child I grew up on fairy tales. I have to say I loved that fantasy world.
I remember my mother coming into my room every evening, taking a book of my choice off the shelf, sit herself down beside my bed and read me a tale while I fell asleep.
I liked all kinds of fairy tales but my favorite ones were Snow White and Cinderella.
Soon I grew out of fairy tales but an idea was planted in my head and in my heart.
In my teens I watched movies like the Pretty Woman, Titanic and Bridget Jones’s Diary.
In my early twenties this idea was deeply rooted in my mind.
And the idea was this: We all suffer and life is hard. But the good news is that suffering doesn’t last forever. One day I will find a perfect guy, my prince on the white horse who will see me and choose me against all odds and from then on we will live happily ever after.
Actually none of the fairy tales or movies really went into great detail about how does this happily ever after looks like. They all seemed to end at the new beginning and in my mind remained a pink haze of wonderful ideas of how my perfect life will look like.
In my real life I started to date and create relationships that lasted more than a couple of month. And that’s when I begin to feel really confused about this idea. You see first everything went according to plan, it was all rosy dosey just like in a romantic movie. But some time later it started to take a different path that would end in pain and suffering and a broken heart inevitably. This reality was shocking for me.
Surely it’s not me. I must have chosen the wrong guy. That’s the only explanation I think.
So I keep searching. I keep trying to find that perfect person and to create my perfect life.
And I fail again and again. Until a day when I realize it must be me. It must be my fault, there is something wrong with me. Clearly I have to fix myself. So I launch myself into healing and self discovery and hoping deep in my heart that I can fix it whatever is wrong with me and then I will be worthy for my prince and get my happily ever after.
I don’t regret this journey. It did really ‘fix me in a way. It brought me many answers and even more questions. Definitely brought me more clarity. And you know what I discovered?
That this story is not real! It’s hard to believe that I couldn’t see that. I never questioned it. I couldn’t see that what I believe is nor real, it’s just a fairy tale, a story to make us feel better.
Wow, I felt like a veil has been lifted from my eyes and I can see clearly. It was a truly shocking experience. I didn’t realized how attached I was to this story. I never thought that there is an alternative. I never thought that maybe there isn’t a fairy tale happy ending.
This shock brought me another question. What is real then? If this is just a story?
The truth is that we are all different. Each of us living in our private little world shaped by our family, environment and conditioning. And we are all wounded. None of us is perfect. So here is reality: two different and imperfect world meets aka two people fall in love and start a relationship.
What is that will most likely happen? They gonna live happily ever after? With no care in the world? I don’t think so. Reality is that I personally don’t know any couple who lives that fairy tale ending. I know couples whose relationship is inspirational and loving but that doesn’t mean they don’t have any challenges.
So what about this? What shall I do now? How shall I live? How does my happily ever after looks like? It took me quite a while to educate myself and find my answers to these questions.
I can tell you this. I believe that love is the greatest power we have to transcend challenges. I believe we have the power to change and heal ourselves. And I believe that if we can just let go of this idea, of this fairy tale and accept reality we would have a bigger chance to create our happily ever after.
Welcome to this journey. Aho